That's NOT a kitty-cat...

So I've been trying to figure out how to share this part of the story.  I haven't really come up with any solid ways of doing it, so I guess I'll just get it out there.

Let's hop back in time a few weeks...

A couple of weeks after we learned we were pregnant, my sister called me.  We were chatting more than usual, since she'd found out we were going to have a baby.  She LOVES LOVES LOVES little kids and was thrilled to hear our news.  I was cooking in the kitchen and I could tell something was different.  We were talking, but she wasn't really following the conversation.  Her questions, although normal questions, were coming out different than usual and I got the feeling that she had something she wanted to share with me, but for some reason, wasn't saying it.

I needed both of my hands in the kitchen, and since she was being a bit weird, I told her that she could feel free to call me back when she decided to say whatever it was that she wasn't saying.  The normal goodbyes were exchanged and before she hung up she said that she was going to send me a picture and she wanted to know what I thought.

Usually the pictures I get from her are of her cats, like this one:

The picture I got this time was different:

This isn't the exact picture, because my phone got replaced between now and then.  But you get the idea

So I called her right back.

Is that yours?
Yes.
You know you're going to have to tell mom, right?
Yeah.
Oh boy.

Needless to say, this was unexpected.  And did I mention that my little sister is 18 years old and that this was 3 weeks before she graduated high school?  And... And... And....???  All I could get out after that point was, "Well, you need to start taking pre-natals if you haven't already and you need to schedule an appointment with an OB-Gyn."

Woah baby.  Or, babies, I guess.  We would have been due at the same time.

So there will be a Brekke family baby--but not coming from the person people were expecting.

My feelings are conflicted.  I could list the reasons why I think this is not a great idea, but that won't benefit anything.  What will be, will be.  Apparently God thinks that this is a great way to connect with Courtney, otherwise it wouldn't have happened.  My job is to love unconditionally, and to be the best aunt I can be.

As her sister, I've done what I can to protect her from the realities that this world can offer.  We've talked, yelled, hugged, cried, etc... together over the years.  Like me, though, she is stubborn.  Learning the hard way is her way.  We all make choices, good and bad, and some of them have more obvious consequences--this would be one of them.  I want to put this out there now though.

For those of you who are friends with me, who know my sister, who know my family, and some of you who ARE my family... think before you react.  Courtney does not claim to be a Christian, so according to her beliefs (or non-beliefs, depending how you look at it) so you cannot hold her to that standard.  Obviously nobody who truly loves her would choose this for her, but a child is a blessing, and needs to be viewed as such.  This is just part of her journey.  Hopefully part that shatters her misconceptions of God's love and that brings her to a place where she can see it for herself, raw and real.  True.  Untainted.

Because in that form, and ONLY in that form, it is beautiful.