Battleships

I know I haven't written in a while, but there's not been much to write about.  My days are repetitive and blend together into weeks, then months.  However, I feel I can say that I have friends in Michigan now. :)  That much has improved!

I was browsing my Facebook this morning, examining yet ANOTHER new, forced format for my profile when I realized that they post my "Notes" on my wall now.  Interesting.  I couldn't even remember what I'd written in the past.

Then I stumbled on this.  It's a note I wrote to a couple of people I love intensely almost exactly a year ago and it still holds a lot of meaning.  And the dream still plays perfectly in my mind:

I always used to think that people who grew up in a loving home, where the parents did they best they could to teach the love of God to their children, would eventually see the errors of their ways and turn to Christ.  Even if it were only that last moment before death--surely it would happen.

But I had a dream last night.

In my dream we were all together.  We were on a ship, like a cruise ship, except this one was flying.  We were enjoying life, hanging out, when all of the sudden someone came over the PA system and announced that America was in a new stage of terrorism alert.  Stage black.  Newscasters and prominent voices across the world were saying that in this stage, there was a 98% chance of a terroriest attack.

Not too much later, it was announced.  America was under seige.

He and I had been in a seperate room, talking.  This room wasn't crowded, as it was an unfinished room on the ship.  The walls and floors only had insulation on them and the wooden beams were bare.  No drywall or anything had been hung and there were no windows.  As soon as it was announced, he became so scared.  The look on his face... I can't even describe it.  I hurt so bad because I was sure he was thinking about "all the time" he'd always imaged that he would have in his life that could potentially be gone in moments.  People all around us were panicing, running to find family and friends, not wanting to be alone in their fear.  Some of them sat down in corners together, crying, talking.  Swaying as they held each other.

I turned my head for a moment, and in that moment, He hid.  He was terrified, I knew, and in his fear, dug his way under the insulation in the floor in a back room we'd been sitting near.  I felt in that moment he was believed if he could just hide his head... just close his eyes... just pretend... it would go away.  This was a dream.  My heart ached.

My friend.  Scared.  Feeling alone.  Hiding from his fears behind closed eyes.

I went into the room upstairs to see how everyone else was doing.

They were sitting by a window, watching the skies.  She looked nervous and scared, but the average person on the street wouldn't be able to tell.  Even now, the invisible audience was a priority.  But her eyes told all.  I sat down by her and we looked out the window together.  Just watching.  Hovering, trying to see if it was true.  Wondering if we would be a part of this war.

And then we saw them.

The enemy, flying through the air, big as battleships.  They were painted red and blue and were speweing fire every time they released a missle.  My arms went around her as we both watched as one was released toward us and she started to scream and cry, "This isn't fair!  I'm too young!  I am supposed to have more life to live!"

We blinked as it hit the ship somewhere beneath us and the power went out.  The second after, we were together, but alone in the darkness.

I jumped up and ran downstairs to get him, not wanting him to be alone during this, only to find his fear had taken over and he'd passed out.  I dragged him out of his insulated cocoon and threw him on my back.  Pushing my way through the clamor, I stumbled up the stairs in the darkness and made my way back to the rest of them.

Just as I saw them... Just as I got close enough to call out their names...  

I felt like I'd been hit by a wall of air.

My vision went white and I felt as high as I'd ever been.

It was over.

I woke up shaking.  Terrified.  I've never had a dream where I could so vividly taste the fear.  All around me were people.  And each of them knew that at any moment, all their dreams, plans, and any type of future they might have had could be gone.  What broke my heart the most, though, was that in those last moments.  Those moments right before death.  The moments that I've always been "sure" would affect those two...

They didn't.

And I have no idea where they went.