Dear Uterus

It's been going pretty good!

We went to see the doc on Wednesday and unfortunately, it sounds like six months is the least amount of time I'll have to be in treatment.  That was a bit disappointing.  I was really really hoping to hear that four would be enough.  Come September, we'll repeat my succession of tests to determine how much longer I'll have to endure for sure.  It sounds like it will realistically be anywhere from six to eight months.  Barf.

Isaac and I were talking yesterday and I mentioned that this whole thing is a lot more involved than I thought it was going to be.  In my mind I'd made the process something like: "Four months of chemo was enough.  The lymphoma is gone.  Congrats!  We'll see ya later!"

I guess that's not how it works.

I had to quit taking my birth control for the duration of the process too.  It's been quite a change, letting my body adjust back to what it naturally wants to do for my period.

I'd started taking it pretty young... probably fourteen (correct me if I'm wrong, Mom) because I get such infernally bad cramps.  Over the past nine years, I'd kind of forgotten what it was like to wake up in the middle of the night wishing I was dead because my abdomen was chewing on itself with razor sharp teeth.  I got a lovely reminder today.

Dear, Uterus.

Thank you.  Because of you, I was awakened this morning after only five hours of sleep.  Because of you, I've already downed four ibuprofen and have a heating pad set on blast trying to boil you away.  I'm sure you think it's funny.  Well, just you wait.  When I get older and you've already done the ONLY positive thing you can do (hopefully), I'm having you removed just because I can, you Judas piece of flesh.  Take that.

Sincerely, Ashley

I don't even feel bad about saying that.

Another undesired side effect: my skin breaks out SUPER easily.  I have to treat it like a spoiled Manhatten brat just to get it to behave.  We're talking washing twice a day at specific times, a topical cream, two types of moisturizers, pumice peels, clay masks, extractions, and hydrating gels.  Ridiculous.

Thankfully I learned these things in cosmetology school.

Mornings like today, I have to remind myself to chill.  These disruptions in the pattern of my life will only register as a little bump in the road when the whole story is told.  Nothing lasts forever.

At least, not here.

On a very random ending note: Happy Birthday to my little buddy Caleb Badger!!! You're one!!  :)  I know it's really not until Wednesday, but I'll be drugged and it's pretty likely I'll forget to say anything then.

Haha!  I found this other uterus picture later.  Keep those ovaries away from your children, ladies!!