The Next Step

Hallelujah!  I am finally done with chemotherapy!!!

Next up: radiation!  I'll be going in this Thursday to get mapped.  I'm not entirely sure what that consists of, other than my doctor said they'd be making a cast of my upper body so that I lay exactly the same each time, tattooing me with little dots, and possibly (if needed) creating something to lock my head in place each time too.

I must confess, I really didn't pay all that much attention to what was being said while my radiation doctor was talking.  He seemed to be a really sweet guy, but I was trying to figure out if he'd had a nose job.  I'm just about positive he is primarily African American in descent, but the bridge of his nose was WAY too narrow and straight for it to be natural.  Plus, the tip was thinner as well, which leads me to believe he's had surgery on it.  It does seem to show all that much in this picture, but in real life--trust me.  Looks like rhinoplasty.

I asked Isaac if he thought it was rude to ask doc if he'd had surgery.

He said "Yes.  Don't do that."

Fine.

I guess I'll never know for sure.  I could try one of those beat-around-the-bush conversations and be like, "so, I'm looking for a good facial surgeon... do you know any?"  But that'd probably be really awkward.  I'm guessing he'd pick up on what I was really asking.

I really have no reason to NEED to know either.  I'm just nosy.

Anyway, so yes.  Radiation stuff starts happening on Thursday.

I'll also be getting another MUGA scan on Tuesday.

I've been having odd sensations in my heart area, and I'm a tad concerned that the chemo drugs might have done something to it.  So I'm getting it checked out.

The first time I noticed it was probably right after my fifth session.  I was sitting on my parents couch and all of the sudden it felt like my heart was floating inside itself.  Like it was trying to swim, but it was drowning or something.  It's very hard to describe.  Since then my weird heart feelings haven't been as obvious or intense, but I still do get them.

It very easily could just be the cord from my port flapping around in my Superior Vena Cava (big vein that going straight into the heart).  And if that's the case--I'll be elated, because that means once this port comes out, my heart things will stop.  But if that's not the case, I guess I'd rather know sooner than later.

I'm also going to a counselor on Tuesday.  I actually feel much better now than I did last week, but this intense fluctuation of emotions... I'm not sure how to manage it or what to do with it.  So I'm going to talk to someone about it.

Also, Isaac and I are going to go through "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.  He doesn't like to read (because he already has to read so much for school) so I am going to read it to him.  We want to learn how to love each other better, because after this week, I came to realize that maybe I haven't been doing that great of a job at speaking to him in a language that is most natural to him.