Normal

Do you ever have days where you "decide" something?

I do.  Probably 5-7 of them per week.  But then something will happen and I will change my mind about what I "decided" because I learned something new.  Or because I'm human.

A couple of weeks ago when I wrote the blog about being depressed I had decided that I was plumb crazy.  Completely off my rocker.  Today, while driving back to my Iowa home, I decided that no, I am not plumb crazy, I'm completely normal.

It's normal to be completely happy one moment and cry the next.
It's normal to have conversations with yourself in your head.
It's normal to wonder if you're crazy.

Today I also decided that this is probably the result of living in a place that is so far from perfect.

I have two confessions that I have to make, both of them having to do with my realization of how crazy things in this world are.

Confession #1: I watched Jersey Shore this week. (I promise, I am NOT a regular viewer... this was maybe the first or second entire episode I've seen.)
Confession #2: I bought and listened to Christina Aguilera's album, "Bionic."

Now, I'll admit, I did watch almost the entire episode of Jersey Shore.  It was heartbreaking, sad, angering, and mind-blowing all at the same time.  When I wasn't busy fussing at the characters through the TV screen, I was relaying to Isaac how amazed I was at the disconnect in the logic and actions of the people on the show.

People demanding that others not tell them the truth because "it hurts their feelings."

A young woman refusing to see the correlation between her public nudity and her boyfriend leaving as consequence for her actions; instead, she blames him for not loving her "as she is."

Men taking advantage of intoxicated women who won't remember what happened in the morning.

Another young woman sobbing about the disgrace she'll bring on her parents if she's pregnant, meanwhile appearing to see no connection between that same disgrace and the broadcast of her drunkenness and casual sexual relationships to the world via TV.

The list goes on and on.  I don't even think I could make a comprehensive list of all that was wrong on that show... it just came, one thing after another, no end in sight.

I didn't even listen to all of Christina's album.  I've been a die-hard fan of her beautiful voice for years and in my younger days, sang-along to some of her raunchy songs in my rebellion.

Today I had to fast-forward through at least eleven of the eighteen songs on the CD.  The lyrics were bad enough that my ears cringed and tried to close themselves.  They were just downright abrasive.  There were probably three songs that were good enough to keep.  I'll download them to my computer later and then razor the disc and toss it.

And this is "normal."

Maybe I'm not as normal as I thought...

If that's what it is, I don't think I want to be.  It's raining enough crazy juice outside I find myself wondering if I really want to have kids.

Jersey Shore only started a year or two ago.  What in the world is going to be on TV when my little ones are my age?  And how do you explain to them the break between reality and what they see on the screen?

Even Madonna won't let her kids watch TV--that's saying something.